X-Plain This to me Please

Rating: M
Pairing: J/C
Summary: Kathryn thinks that Chakotay has some explaining to do.
Disclaimer: Paramount/Viacom own the series and the characters that are related to Star Trek: Voyager, but the story is mine.
Length: 1319 words
Date: March 2006

Seven years. For seven years he has pined after her and had made the promise that if he did make it back to the Alpha Quadrant with Kathryn in tow he would get her.

And here they were, back in the Alpha Quadrant. They'd all gotten the promotions that they had hoped for and most had gotten together with the loved ones they had either met on Voyager and in the Delta Quadrant, or been re-united with the ones they had left behind.

Chakotay had just one thing left to say to Kathryn before she went back to Starfleet and joined the Admiralty where she now belonged. Well one thing to say to her after he said good-bye to Seven, his temporary interlude, a period in time that was not to be forgotten...just ignored for the moment.

He wasn't even sure if Kathryn was aware of the fact that Seven and he had been an item...well she had been visited by Admiral Janeway of the future, so he was sure that at one point...on some level...she did know.

Chakotay approached Kathryn's door, the door to her quarters and rang the chime. Kathryn slowly made her way to the door, who the hell could that be. It was 4am for goodness sakes. Then she really thought about it. There were only two people who were brave enough to bother the coffee-deprieved Janeway at this early hour: Seven and Chakotay. She hoped for Seven's sake it was the latter. She could deal with Chakotay's personal visits, but Seven's constant queries about humanity (which was inevitably what the conversation boiled down to), were too much.

Chakotay waited, tapping his arms nervously on his sides, when she answered the door, which he hoped she did, he was prepared for many things...one Kathyrn Janeway that had indeed been sleeping was not one of them.

Kathryn answered the door and brushed her hair out of her face. "Chakotay, so nice of you to visit at this nice an hour. This better be good Chakotay it's four a.m."

Chakotay's jaw dropped open. His jaw popped up and down trying to formulate the words that he wanted to say.

Kathryn stared at him awkwardly. "Yes, Chakotay," she paused. "I assume there is a reason for you to visit me at this hour."

Chakotay re-gained his senses. "Can I come in Kathryn, it's really important."

Kathryn waved her arm in a gesture that told him to come in and make his peace. "Kathryn, I need you to explain something to me."

Kathryn nodded her head, waiting for the point to be made. "Explain to me, why after seven years of continued dancing and dodging...we haven't managed to get it right?"

Kathryn took a step back surprised. This is one thing she hadn't expected, especially not at this time. "I was sure by this point you'd moved on and lost interest. We've both had our share of little meanderings in the past years...well since 'New Earth' anyway, and you're with Seven."

Chakotay took a step towards her and tilted her head up to look at him, look him in the eyes, know what he was doing. "I need you to know that, that I never stopped loving you. Know that I gave up on Seven. Know that she was a really poor subsitute for you. Know that you gave her the mother figure that she never had and she gave you the child you were never really able to create. Know that..."

"Stop it Chakotay." She pulled away from his grasp. "This is not about love, this about you trying to get the prize. No one else could get the Captain, so you thought you'd try. On New Earth, there was no one else, it was the Adam and Eve scenario. Come on Chakotay, you're saying you'd rather have me than Seven. The goddess, the woman every man on the ship and probably half the women want to bag."

"Maybe half the people on the ship, but not me...I wanted..."

"Oh come on Chakotay, you wanted what? You wanted to prove to everyone else that you could get the unattainable Kathryn Janeway. Stop it, back off!"

chakotay took two steps back, this wasn't the Kathryn Janeway he had grown to know and love. "What happened to the Kathryn Janeway that I used to know? What happened to the woman that used to show the crew love and support, what happened to the woman that used to love me."

Kathryn laughed. "I never loved you Chakotay. ‘Adam and Eve' remember."

Chakotay looked at her, she was hurting and he needed to know why? He approached her, "Don't do this Kathryn, we have a chance to make it right, and all you have to do is trust me and trust yourself."

Kathryn looked at him. "I trust you Chakotay, but that doesn't mean I'm going to jump in the sack with you. I trust you with my ship, I trust you with my life, but this isn't either, it’s my heart. I don't trust anyone with my heart, it's been broken too many times." She paused looking as if she was on the verge of tears, "Hell, you've broken it on multiple occasions."

Chakotay was mistified, she had loved him and she had given up. "Seven is a thing of the past Kathryn. I left her for you."

She shook her head, "Then explain something to me: Why would a man like yourself, a man that is handsome and smart and who finally fucked Seven - because don't tell me you didn't - why would you leave her for me."

He looked at her wide-eyed at her incomprehension. "Because she's not you Kathryn."

Kathryn stepped back from him and left for her bedroom, "Whatever Chakotay, I don't have time for this and I don't want to listen to it anymore. I can't take the mind games anymore. I can't stand to look at you or love you, not knowing that it will be reciprocated. I can't do it anymore."

Kathryn closed the door to her bed room and left Chakotay to brood, or so she assumed. She never thought in a million years that he would be so bold. She never thought it a million years that he would still love her. She never thought it a million years that she would enjoy it.

Chakotay opened the door to her bedroom and he approached her. "Chakotay back off before I call security and your career in Starfleet is over for good."

He laughed a sardonic laugh. "Starfleet, I don't care if I never serve aboard another ship again, I don't care if I never love again, the only thing I care about it you." He walked up to her and kissed her. He walked up to her and loved her. He walked up to her and never let go.

She never thought he'd be so bold. She never thought he still loved her. She never thought she'd enjoy it.

That was 12 years ago, and two kids ago, and no matter what she had vowed, she had in the end learned something from him: he had been telling the truth.

He hadn't broken her heart, and he did still love her, and happiness was the end of their tale.

And finally, he didn't leave her and he never would. She had found love and would never lose it.

THE END